Case 4: King Connor “Welcome to Convenience Mart, this is King Connor. How may I help you?”
My boss looked over at me as I listened to the customer on the line.
“Yes, we are opened 24 hours a day, including Christmas.”
The customer is pleased with what I have to say so I hang up and go back to stocking the shelves as I was doing earlier. I was only working for a couple of minutes when my boss came over to speak with me.
You know Connor, I’ve been watching you working with the customers and well, I think it’s time that we had a talk.”
“What about?” I replied.
“Well, Connor… I think its fine that you have the guys call you King Connor. I don’t mind that you put that crown sticker on your name tag. It’s quirky and that’s okay. I’m not a fan of you calling yourself King Connor to the customers and I’m certainly not a fan of you insisting that you are a king.”
“But, I told you John, I am a king. Have you ever heard the song, “King of Spain” by Moxy Fruvous?”
“No Connor, I haven’t.”
“Well, it’s just like that song says except it’s not Spain that I’m from, but Portugal. Ah, Portugal, how I miss you…”
John continued to look at me like I was crazy. I’m not. It was only a few years ago that I switched places with the nice young man who looked just like me. At first I was glad to be away from Portugal and in America, but now that I miss it I decided to go back to being called King.
“It’s a great song John. It has this part that I think perfectly describes what happened, It goes like this,” I took off in song.
“You see late one night when the palace was asleep
Out of my royal chambers and into the garden I creep
And I wait till the appointed time, when the moon is lighting the pitch
At which point my peasant friend, who looks just like me
Arrives and we make a switchPrince and pauper, junior and whopper
World made up of silver and copper
Out of my own volition, I took a change of position…”John interrupts my song with a simple look.
I took to working at this store about 3 months ago. At first, it was just because I needed a job and some money. But soon enough, I realized that I needed to take over some place again and I figured a store would be a good place to start. I figured once the men started to respect my position as King of the Convenience Mart it would be all too easy to move on to bigger things… maybe the chain of stores, or maybe the corporation that owns the chain. My ultimate goal at this time though was to eventually take over something larger like the country. This store would be a good start and a good way to meet people and even get those who just visit the store to respect my authority. That’s why I insist that all call me not just Connor, but use my proper name, King Connor. So far, it’s been fine, but now I’ve hit this snag with John.
“Listen John, if I stop telling people my real name and just go by half my name, will you stop this nagging?”
“Connor?”
“Kin… Oh wait, yeah?”
“If you stop forcing King into people’s heads, I will indeed be happy.”
I was disappointed, but I could work around this. John was only here for a couple hours on my shift. He would be gone in about an hour and then I could go back to converting the masses into my service.
I spent the hour waiting for John to leave by placing candy on the shelves. Lemonheads and whoppers on the top, chocolate bars in the middle, and the bagged candy on the bottom. John often gets mad at me for the way I do my candy. You see I often “accidentally” leave out anything that has peanut butter in it as well as chocolate. I’m sorry, but it’s not okay. Peanut butter and chocolate do not belong together, they never have. First it was all about peanut butter cups and then they made little reeses peanut butter cups and that’s not the worst. Now M&Ms, my darling M&Ms, have a peanut butter variety. I don’t understand those who buy them either. The moment I become official king of convenience stores I will abolish peanut butter and chocolate candy in any form.
At 4:30, John bid everyone farewell and I went into the cooler to get my crown. I don’t have enough money to buy a good one at the moment, but the crown that I got at Burger King does just fine.
The main problem with the crown is that Burger King in all it’s cheapness has taken away the games from inside my crown. When I take over the place I can tell you that I will never take away games, in fact, I plan on adding them to the inside of every box. Nothing beats opening a box of cereal and playing games. Anyhow when I got the crown I didn’t think it looked quite regal enough so I took some tinfoil and covered the crown. Then I added some jewels that I got out of those nifty quarter machines outside of the local Price Chopper. I think it looks great. My loyal subjects have come to expect high fashion from me; the crown does the job considering that I have to wear a lowly uniform. The khaki pants and the maroon shirt just don’t do the job of portraying kingliness. I asked John if I could wear my cape of royal purple, but he wouldn’t have it. Well, at least I have my crown.
I walked out with my crown and my subjects told me how good I looked. They said it with the respect that a man of my candor deserves. Or at least I’m pretty sure that they are.
“Oh King Connor, may I take my hourly cigarette break now?”
“Good Michael. You may. I will watch over your post until you return. As your king, you can count on me.”
Michael always enjoyed his breaks. I was always glad to provide them. I looked out upon the gas pumps and watch the world go forth. It was always a beautiful thing to behold. About two minutes later a man walked in and walked over to my candy rack that I had just recently stocked. He came back a moment later and came over to me.
“Excuse me, where are your reeses peanut butter cups? I can’t find them.”
“Don’t worry sir; they are not hiding on you waiting to attack. I, too, understand the evils of the peanut butter and chocolate curse and have banished the demons off the shelves to protect you, my loyal subject.”
“Loyal subject? What the hell are you talking about? I came in here to buy my wife her favorite candy and I can’t find them. My wife is pregnant and she’s craving her favorite Reese’s peanut butter cups.”
“Your wife is pregnant and craving reeses peanut butter cups? Are you sure your baby isn’t the product of Satan then?”
At the time, I thought nothing of it, but as I look back, I’m pretty sure only Satan punches that hard. Michael came running in at this time and ran to my rescue. At the time, I was feeling a little woozy. I saw Michael makes some weird hand motion by his ear and I only heard a couple of words as I lay there clutching my cheek. The words were: crazy, retard, and ignore it.That was nice of Michael to come to my rescue, but the guy was clearly upset and calling him names probably wasn’t a good idea, considering that he was willing to punch me. Michael walked the man out of the store and when he came back in I was just getting up. He came over to me, looked at my cheek, and then went into the back room for a minute. When he reemerged he brought out an ice pack for me. I placed it on my face, but only after trying to adjust the crown onto my head. When I fell it seemed to have been crushed under my body. It was sad, this was my best crown yet.
“Let me take that, maybe I can fix it up for you, King.”
“Thank you Michael. I’m glad that you have come to help protect me, your king.”
“No need to thank me sir, just doing my duty. I’m back now so why don’t you go and finish up stocking the store. I can take the register from here.”
Michael handed me my crown back, almost as good as new. He has always been so kind to me. At that moment I decided that I could knight him that very day. Unfortunately I couldn’t use my sword since I had left it in my palatial palace in Portugal, so I would have to improvise. I looked all around the store for something suitable to use and finally ran into a snack that would be just right.
I pulled the biggest slim jim I could from the display case and smiled as I realized that it was almost as long as my dagger at my palace. I carried the delicious meat stick as majestically as I possibly could with a solemn look on my face.
“Kind Michael,” I began, “you have shown me undeniable bravery this very afternoon and I feel that you are worthy of knighthood. Please kneel before me.”
Michael looked quite flattered that I asked him to be my knight. He knelt before me with a funny little smile on his face. I pulled out the slim jim and as I placed it on each of his shoulders I stated:
“I, King Connor of Portugal, knight thee Michael, Sir Michael. Please rise, Sir Michael.”
He rose and smiled as he said, “Thank you, King Connor, I’ll wear my knighthood with honor.”
I walked back to the chips island and started to unpack the chips. My favorite has always been Salt and Vinegar so every once in awhile I throw one in among the plain chips, in the Sour Cream and Onion, or even among the Barbeque chips. Nothing beats a good bag of Salt and Vinegar. I was slowly winning over the store. I now had my very own knight in my brand new kingdom. Speaking of kingdom, I thought to myself, I have a suggestion for the corporation that I shall win over.
I went into the back room and went online to the corporation site. I went to the suggestion page and wrote in this:Dear sir or madam,
I have been a part of your corporation
for a good time now. I have been thinking
about my future and the future of the
corporation. In short, I think you should
change the chain’s name to Convenience
King instead of Convenience Mart.
I think this would show how great we
as a team really are.
Sincerely,
Connor AllvarezI walked out of the back room and back up to the counter to find Michael hard at work.
“Hey Sir Michael, is there anything else you need me to do before I go home for the night?”
“Sure, can you stock up the cooler before you go? We seem to be running short on Mountain Dew and Sprite back there.”
“For you, my good knight, I can. You continue to serve our kingdom from up here by these humble cash registers, and I shall go and stock up the rations in our cooler.”
I turned around went into the cooler. The cooler was a mess from the other stockers and I sighed. I worked for about 20 minutes in the cooler before deciding that I was too cold to go on. At that point I went into the office to sign out and then back up to the registers to grab my coat and say goodbye to Sir Michael.
I walked behind the counter and grabbed my coat, “Good-bye Sir Michael. I hope you have a wonderful evening. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Sure thing, King. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Michael turned to wave good-bye to me and as he did, I noticed his badge. Above his name, written on a small piece of white sticker was the word “Sir.” Michael would go far in my kingdom.
I went home that night with a big smile on my face. Sir Michael was a good friend, a loyal subject, and a great man to have as my knight. When I get home I put on my Moxy Fruvous CD so that I can sing the King of Spain song at the top of my lungs… I sing it word for word with one exception. Instead of Spain, I put in the word “Portugal.” That song always makes me feel good about myself.
“Once I was the king of Portugal, now I eat humble pie.
A palatial palace that was my home, now I eat humble pie.”I sure do love that song. I go to sleep earlier than usual because the altercation with the man at the store really wore me out. Before I go to bed I go into the bathroom for my daily affirmation.
I looked into the mirror and while staring at my reflection in the mirror I state the following, “I am a good king and I am great with those who serve under me.”
After my affirmation I brushed my teeth and then found my way into my bedroom. I fell asleep the moment that my head hit the pillow. I slept well that night, and I couldn’t wait for the next day. Besides the trouble with the man at the store earlier, everything had gone well that day and I was looking forward to another day of the same.
The next morning I awoke to a bird chirping in my window. I pulled on my work uniform and went out to eat at my favorite restaurant. In the past couple of months I have become a regular there and they are all happy to their king. They were the first people to recognize me as their king, and they usually offered me great bargains, such as a burger and fries for a low, value price. I usually get a soda with it too. Their burgers are fit for a king and their fries are a lot better than that crazy clown’s food.
“Good morning, welcome to Burger King. How may I help you, King Connor?”
“This morning I think I will have the cinnamon rolls and an orange juice, young countryman.”
“Right away, sir.”
I pay the nominal fee and stand back and wait for my food. After about two minutes, talk about service, I receive my meal and head over to my favorite seat. From where I sit every morning I can see the merry-go-round outside and a mural of a palace overlooking the land. My castle was nicer than that, but since the artist was already done painting I didn’t want to give him any pointers.
Just like every other day I sit at my high class restaurant from my breakfast time, until it’s time for work. This means I get two delicious meals. During my time here I do a variety of things. First things first I get to read the newspaper for the day and see if there is anything written about Portugal, I try to keep an eye on my former country to make sure that the peasant that I switched places with hasn’t screwed anything up.
I still remember why I switched. I wanted to see the world, but sitting in the castles wasn’t allowing me the freedom to do whatever I wanted, so I held a contest to find someone who looked enough like me to make a switch. For days I didn’t see anyone who looked enough like me to pull this off. Luckily on the last day of the contest a young man who almost could have been my twin showed up at the castle. He told me that because he was so poor he didn’t think that he could join the contest. He was mostly worried about his clothes. Thankfully he did end up coming. The prize for winning was a dinner with me.
That night I announce my winner and the peasant and I dined together. After dinner we walked over to a door in the back of the grounds that I would be meeting him at and I described the plan. The plan was to wait until 2:00 in the morning, at that time the peasant and I would meet up at the door and we would switch places. He was worried at first, but I told him that I wanted more, and he told me he wanted the same. The problem is that I wish I could go back, and I’m pretty sure that he’s happy with being king.
After reading my daily paper I like to do any puzzles that are in the paper. When the daily crossword and jumble are too hard I usually will take the tray that I am served on and either make my own using the paper that is on the tray and ask the workers at this fine establishment to try to solve them, or I will do the puzzles that are printed on the paper on the tray if Burger King has printed some that week. The activities on the paper vary from week to week.
When I’m done with the puzzles it’s usually time for lunch and I will go and get back in line to purchase my lunch time meal. My usual order is a double whopper with cheese extra value meals. This meal is the only one truly fit for a king of my standing. I have to eat my lunch quickly so that I can get to work on time. So after paying the cost of my meal I sat down to scarf down my delicious kingly meal. As soon as I was done I waved good-bye to the workers in the restaurant and hopped the bus to Convenience Mart.
When I got there an envelope was waiting for me from the corporation. When I opened the letter I noticed that it was really just a fax that had been sent over that morning.
“Hey John, this come for me today?”
“Sure did, Connor,” John yelled from the back room, “It’s about the email you sent the corporation yesterday.”
I opened the letter in anticipation. I couldn’t wait to say that I worked for Convenience King. My hands were shaking as I read the letter.
Dear Connor,
The corporation has read your request and we
regret to inform you that we are not interested
in your idea of changing the name of the
Convenience Mart chain to Convenience King.
Honestly, customers are used to the name of
our corporation as is and would most likely
react unfavorably to a change, even as minor
as what you have suggested.
Regretfully,
Nicholas Culver
Head of Convenience Mart
The CorporationI was disappointed to say the least. This Nicholas fellow, whoever he was sucked major balls. I went into the cooler to drown myself in my pain. I spent awhile in there until John came in and got me.
“Connor, a man is here to see you.”
“Who is it, John.”
“It’s Nicholas Culver, that man from the Corporation that sent you that letter.”
Oh great, I thought, he’s here to rub it in my face.
“Listen, Conner, you should come out, it’s time for me to leave, so I’ll see you tomorrow, let me know how it all goes.”
I nodded and followed John out. I came out to see a 6’7” tall man staring down at me. His long blond hair was tied in the back of his head; this wouldn’t have made him seem more impressive if he wasn’t wearing a three piece suit and a long black trench coat. His appearance in front of me, I have to say, scared me a little. The worst part was the scowl on his face. He stared at me and I stared at him. I ran back to the cooler and left him standing there alone. I grabbed my bent out of shape crown and jammed it on my head and then walked out back out to face the large man waiting in the store.
I walked back out and stood in front of him. We stared at each other for about 45 seconds before the man finally spoke.
“You are the best employee in this store. You are exactly what we need around here.” He broke into a large smile and slapped me on the shoulder.
I regained my composure and burst into a smile as well. “Thank you, kind man, I am glad to meet your acquaintance. May I ask why you wrote that depressing letter to me earlier?”
“Well, you see, I read your idea and I absolutely loved it. I immediately brought it to my supervisors and pitched them your idea. They turned it down flat and asked me to write you a letter telling them of “our” decision. They watch out emails and faxes so I sent you the letter and came to speak with you.”
“I see. I’m trying to stock stuff. Would you like to stock some shelves with me?”
“Sounds like a great time.”
Nicholas, or as he asked me to call him, Nick and I spent the entire shift stocking shelves and we had some great conversations. After work we went to back to Burger King for a dinner, Nick’s treat. He bought me another double whopper meal, my second of the day while I told him the story of my daring switch from being King of Portugal and how horrible I feel about it now. Surprisingly, Nick was one of the first people I met who really believed my story from the start. In fact, it wasn’t just belief, just Nick got an excited look on his face.
“Hey, I can’t believe that you told me that story, King Connor. I’ve been hiding something from everyone for the past little while and it’s a pretty similar story. You see, I’m from Djibouti. I also had a switch and miss my country. I’m actually King of Djibouti. Wow, I never thought any other king would do what I do.”
“That’s absolutely amazing. Are you having the same trouble with me about getting back to your country?”
“It’s impossible isn’t it?”
King Nicholas and I spoke for a few more hours about our countries. As we walked out of Burger King, which Nick enjoyed eating at as well, we stepped out the door following a young mother and her young son, and I turned to King Nicholas and asked, “So, what do you like the most about your country.”
Nick, in a most regal voice, replied, “What can I say? I love Djibouti.”
The mother in front of us turned around and gave us both a glare before raising her hand and smacking King Nicholas across the face and running with her son to her car.
“What?” Nick asked me. “What was that all about?”
“She probably just ate reeses peanut butter cups.”
“I see. I still don’t get it though,” Nick yelled out toward the woman trying to explain, “Djibouti is a wonderful place and it is so large. It’s got some great scenery. Really, I wish you could see it. It’s beautiful”
“I don’t understand what that woman was talking about,” I told him, “Everything I’ve heard about the place is great.”
King Nicholas and I parted ways and he promised to visit me at the store soon. We exchanged numbers and said good-bye to each other.
I went home that night and had a great sleep. I don’t think I’ve ever slept better in my life. I never realized that I would meet someone who was so much like me. I also found it amazing that King Nicholas could have found someone who looked enough like him that he would be able to pull a switch like I did.
The next morning I went through my usual routine of Burger King Breakfast, Paper and Lunch and then grabbed the bus for work. I was hoping that my new friend would come and visit… With him around maybe we could make a new improved Kingdom of stores. When I arrived King Nicholas wasn’t there, but John was. He asked me what King Nicholas has talked to me about and I told him how excited I was about everything that had happened yesterday. John smiled at me and asked me to go back to work while he finished up some work.
I went out front to talk to Sir Michael. He told me all about his knight and asked me if I would put out some of the peanut butter and chocolate candies as a lot of people had been asking for them. I reluctantly agreed, but only after making Michael promise that he would try to talk anyone out of buying them, for the customers own good, of course. Satan shouldn’t be controlling any one of my subjects. I care too much for them. Michael placed his hands behind his back and told me that he’s try, but he couldn’t make any guarantees that people wouldn’t buy them. I told him that I was glad that he would try. I also told them that he was a great knight to have around.
My day went pretty fast, and Nicholas didn’t get a chance to come in that day, it made me sad, but I was hoping that he would come soon.
Soon came soon enough. The next day when I got into work King Nicholas was in the store waiting for me. He gave me a hug and told me that he was excited to see me. He had told me that he had tried to pitch my name change idea again and that his boss wouldn’t give him a yes or no answer, but asked that I meet him here today to discuss it.
“I was pretty excited you see. I was hoping that this meant that they were really considering it. My boss isn’t here yet so you should get to work and I’ll let you know when he comes.”
Nicholas’ boss came in about 15 minutes later and immediately walked into the back office to see my boss, John. After a few minutes of being in the office both men walked out and called Nicholas and myself to speak with them in the office. We followed the two men in and sat down. Nick’s boss spoke up first.
“Gentlemen, we have heard a lot about what you believe lately, and while we are excited that you have found each other we believe that you are deeply depressed about “your countries.” Because of this, the corporation has agreed that you two should take part in a group therapy to help sort out the feelings you may have about what has happened.”
John then spoke up, “We feel the need to explain that you still have jobs here, thanks to those disability acts, and we hope that you get better soon, because we can’t have people who are in “your position” working with customers too closely.”
“Please, you are both relieved for the day. Take this card.” He handed us a card with a date and place listed on it. “If you don’t show up for therapy, you will risk termination from the company. We’ll see you soon.”
As King Nicholas and I walked out of the room we heard the managers call Nicholas and I crazy. From the look on King Nicholas’ face I could tell that he felt a little sad, just like me. As we started to walk out the door, Sir Michael called out to me, “Hey King Connor, come here for a minute.”
I walked over to Michael.
“So King, I know you were sad about your crown being crushed the other day. I went out and got you this to make everything better.”
Sir Michael reached under the counter and pulled out a beautiful crown. It was a short crown that was silver in color and had jewel encrusted in it.
“This is beautiful Michael.”
“It’s not real silver, but I thought you might like it anyway.”
“I really do, I love it.”
I placed the crown on my head and said good-bye, then King Nicholas and I walked out the door and went to Burger King to discuss all that had happened that day and to prepare for our group therapy that was coming up.
Group Therapy | Case 1 | Case 2 | Case 3 | Case 4 | Case 5
Case 6 | Case 7 | Case 8 | Case 9 | Case 10 | Therapy Session
